Category Archives: Movies

Movies

The Best Films I Saw in 2015

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Faithful readers of my blog (all three of you; you weirdos), here’s the list of favorite movies I saw in 2015. Just a reminder: These are not the best films released last year. These are the best movies I saw last year; they could have been old or new, but I just happened to see them in the calendar year 2015. I saw some movies that were released in the last month (Star Wars: The Force Awakens) and some that were released decades ago (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid). They only qualify for my list if it’s the first time I have seen them. For example, I watched the original Star Wars trilogy for the twentieth time in anticipation for Episode VII, but they would have been on my list in 1977, 1980, and 1983.

If I had a blog back in ’77, my list of faves would have looked like this (remember, I was 6 years old): Star Wars, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Saturday Night Fever, The Rescuers, Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo, Oh, God!, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, The Bad News Bears In Breaking Training, Pete’s Dragon,  and Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown. 

UnknownHonestly, the Charlie Brown movie may have had as big of an impact on me as any of the Star Wars films. I have such a vivid memory of sitting in the front row of our hometown theater, which had been built in 1925 and had yet to be chopped up into four smaller screens, and staring wide-eyed at the adventures of Charlie and his pals as they tried to survive life at Camp Remote.

Anyhoo, here is the list. If you’ve been following me (since 1977), you’d notice my taste in movies: no horror flicks and very few big-budget blow-’em-up action films; lots of indie films and comedies. My lovely wife Jen doesn’t have as much free time as I do, so she only sees movies in her wheelhouse (dumb comedies, romantic comedies). I filter out all the other dreck to save her some time. I often watch a movie and think, “Would Jen want to sit through this?” Strangely, I didn’t have her see all the movies on my list.

10. “Young@Heart,” 2007 documentary directed by Stephen Walker and Sally George. This touching film is about the Young@Heart Chorus, a singing group whose members’ average age is 81. Also, they sing punk, rock, and other songs you wouldn’t expect from them. Funny and heartbreaking.

9. “Alan Partridge,” 2013 comedy directed by Declan Lowney and starring Steve Coogan and Colm Meaney. Steve Coogan is one of those actors whose films I gravitate to (Simon Pegg being another). Alan Partridge is a character he has played for years on British TV. The plot: A corporate conglomerate has bought out the radio station where Alan is a DJ, and one of his disgruntled co-workers takes everyone hostage to protest. Bonus: This film contains the single funniest scene in a movie I saw last year, wherein Alan attempts to escape through a window.

8. “Argo,” 2012 drama directed by Ben Affleck starring Affleck, John Goodman, and Alan Arkin. Some of this movie was hard to watch because I remember the Iran hostage crisis and how miserable a time in our nation’s history it was. (See, this is why I usually stick with comedies.) Affleck balances deftly the tension and humor in this little-reported story of a joint US-Canadian effort to save the lives of six Americans holed up at the Canadian embassy using the ruse of a Hollywood film crew scouting locations for a sci-fi movie.

7. “Obvious Child,” 2014 comedy-drama directed by Gillian Robespierre starring Jenny Slate and Jake Lacy. A comedy about abortion? One of three movies on my list that I greatly hesitate to recommend. Slate is such a fresh voice in this charmer about a young woman dealing with the aftereffects of a one-night stand. Plus, Polly Draper, who was Ellyn in the TV show “thirtysomething,” plays her mom. Yowza!

6. “While We’re Young,” 2014 comedy-drama directed by Noah Baumbach starring Naomi Watts, Ben Stiller, Amanda Seyfried, and Adam Driver. Painfully funny story of a couple in their forties who fall in with new friends, a twentysomething couple who makes them feel younger but also makes them question how little they have accomplished so far in their lives. Which made me question how little I’ve accomplished. Besides this blog.

5. “The Interview,” 2014 action comedy directed by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen starring Rogen, James Franco, Lizzie Caplan, and Randall Park. I know what you’re thinking: “Why, Dudley, why?” The second of the movies I hesitate to recommend. I swore I was never going to see this, especially after subjecting myself to “This Is the End,” which was (to me, but apparently not to others) unfunny, violent, and disgusting. This one was also violent and disgusting but funny! I laughed throughout. Do I have to explain the plot to the two of you who don’t remember the international incident that this film caused? Okay: a talk-show host and his producer score an interview with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, and the CIA tries to convince them to assassinate him. Best use of the song “Firework” by Katy Perry in a movie since “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted.”

4. “Silver Linings Playbook,” 2012 comedy-drama directed by David O. Russell starring Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, and Robert De Niro. What an original character Cooper played (Lawrence, too). There’s nothing funny about mental disorders, but Russell (who, in the DVD extras, talks about dealing with bipolar disorder in his own family) uses humor to tell the story of a guy and his family dealing with his release from a mental institution after his marriage falls apart.

3. “Boyhood,” 2014 drama directed by Richard Linklater starring Ellar Coltrane, Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke, and Lorelei Linklater. I am of the camp that believed this movie should have won the Best Picture Oscar last year over “Birdman,” which I liked (see my “Movies that just missed the cut” list below) but I found slightly pretentious in the “it’s a Film about Actors! and Directors! so it must be Important” way that usually goes over well with the people who vote for the Oscars. What happened in “Boyhood”? Not much, except a kid grew up. I could relate.

2. “Rudderless,” 2014 drama directed by William H. Macy starring Billy Crudup, Anton Yelchin, and Felicity Huffman. Hoo boy, did I struggle with this one. I didn’t even have Jen watch it; it’s too painful.  It is about something that most people will not want to see, and it tells a side of the story that most people won’t want to hear, and yet it is redemptive and (at times) funny and surprising, and the original songs are great. The plot: Crudup plays a guy whose son dies in a school shooting (are you still with me here?). His life falls apart. Then he discovers his son’s unrecorded music and starts performing it, passing it off as his own (did I lose you yet?). Please don’t see this and be mad at me if you hate it. I’m not recommending it for anyone else, but it moved me more than any other movie I saw. I admire Macy for choosing this subject matter for his directorial debut.

1. “Star Wars: The Force Awakens,” 2015 sci-fi directed by JJ Abrams starring Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford. You may have heard of it. Yes, I was a Star Wars kid growing up. I can’t defend the derivative plot, but I had more fun watching this movie than any other. I laughed, I cried, I was surprised. I will probably see it again.

Movies that just missed the cut: “The Great Gatsby,” “Kings of Summer,” “Life Itself,” “Big Hero 6,” “Birdman,” “Land Ho!,” “It’s Kind of a Funny Story,” “Inherent Vice,” “Nebraska,” “Laggies,” and “The Artist.”

Marathon, Movies, Naperville Marathon, Running

My XXXL Marathon Adventure

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My lovely wife Jen and I were out on a walk, talking about the marathon I was going to run that weekend. I was going over my clothing options for race morning. Dressing appropriately for a race that will take (for me) 3½ hours is tricky; typically, the marathons I run are in the spring and fall, and the temperatures can rise 20 or more degrees during the course of the race.

“I am definitely going with the shorts,” I said. “Maybe a short-sleeve. Weather Underground’s website says it will be 39 degrees at the start and rise to 51 by the finish; maybe I should go with a long-sleeve shirt and a T-shirt over it. Then the gloves, a baseball cap, and maybe my neck warmer. But then again, I might not need the long-sleeve. What do you think?”

Jen said, “I think you’ve crossed the line and gone over to Crazy Town. Just do what you always do and stop obsessing about it!”

She had a point. But in my defense, I haven’t gotten this far in life without a few side trips to Crazy Town.

I was running in the Naperville Marathon, a relatively small race. My previous ones were all big-city marathons, and consequently, they had big marathon expos at convention centers. A marathon expo is where you have to go to pick up your packet with race bib, free shirt, gear-check bag, etc. If you’ve been to an industry expo or a college fair, you know what these things are like: vendor booths, free samples of frozen yogurt or another trendy food item, people generally harassing you into visiting their booths. This one was similar but with one big difference: it was teeny-tiny. The first clue was that it was being held not in a convention center but in the back room of a health club.

The health club was about an hour from my house, so I drove there 2 days before the race.  I wanted to do a quick get-in, get-stuff, get-out trip, but first I needed to ask some questions at the Information desk. The nice lady at the desk said I could ask her anything I wanted.

“Great,” I said. “I notice that there are parking garages a few blocks from the starting line. How soon before the race do they fill up? I’m trying to avoid having to use the remote parking.”

“Good question,” she said. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?!?”

“This is my first time volunteering at this marathon. I’d guess 6 a.m., maybe? Any other questions?”

“Um, no, I’m good.” I did have other questions, but seeing as my guesses would be as good as hers, I saved them.

Flustered, I went to the packet pickup table and got my goody bag. The guy at the table looked at my packet, yelled, “Men’s small!” to the volunteers behind him, and grabbed the shirt they handed him. Into my bag it went. I had already seen a photo of it online and decided it wasn’t really my style, so I hadn’t planned on keeping it; but hey, it was a free shirt. (Editor note: obvious foreshadowing ahead.) Usually, I would spend some time looking through my packet and verifying that everything is there and that the shirt is the correct gender/size, but I was in a hurry.

When I got home, Jen was back for lunch. Like a little kid showing off Halloween candy, I said, “Look at what I got!” I took out the marathon shirt and held it up for her to see.

“Oh my,” she said. “It’s kind of big.”

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I am pretty sure this is not my size. Please note: I am actually wearing shorts. As far as you know.

“What the?” I looked at the tag: Men’s XXX-Large. “Are you freaking kidding me?!?” This thing was a dress on me, and my arms flapped in the too-long sleeves, like when Tom Hanks’ character turned back into a 12-year-old boy at the end of “Big” and he was still wearing a man’s suit. (Sorry to ruin the ending of that one for you.)

Jen said, “Don’t get upset. You had already said you weren’t going to keep it. And don’t drive back to the expo for a replacement shirt.”

She was right, but it was the principle of the thing that ate at me. I mean, seriously. How did they get this one wrong? Plus, is there really that much of a demand for XXXL shirts at a marathon? I didn’t see any 6-foot-5-inch, 400-pound runners out there on Sunday morning. And did they accidentally give my small shirt to that guy? (“Hey, why did they give me a handkerchief instead of a shirt?”)

On race morning, we got there around 6. (Guess what? There was plenty of parking in the parking garages.) It was freezing; Jen didn’t want to hang around the starting line, so I wore some throwaway clothes. We have a “donate” box in our bedroom, and anyone who is retiring clothes in our family knows to throw them in the box; then I run it to goodwill when it’s full.  Anything that remotely fits me ends up in my “marathon throwaways” pile. At the starting line of most major marathons, spectators aren’t allowed near the runners, so it’s best to have clothes that you throw out just before the gun sounds. The marathon organizers then collect them and donate them.

There was plenty of space for spectators at this race, but Jen went to stake out a spot a few miles into the course. Unfortunately, the only long bottoms in the donate box were pink flamingo-covered pajama pants. (I’m pretty sure Jen retired them just to see me wear them to a marathon. And no, I didn’t allow her to take a picture of me wearing them.)

This was how ugly they were: 5 minutes before the race started, I took off my ripped-up old sweatshirt and put it on the fence around the starting corral. I then took off the pink flamingo pants; when I went to put them on the fence, the sweatshirt was already gone. I placed the pants down and moved further into the crowd. For the next few minutes, every time I glanced back, the pants were still there on the fence, crying out, “Take me! I am in need of a loving home!” As far as I know, they are still sitting forlornly on a sidewalk in downtown Naperville, waiting for a brave (or color-blind) citizen to claim them.

I won’t bore you with the details of my race. I wanted to run somewhere around 3:20 to 3:25; I went out at 3:20 pace for the first 20 miles, then faded in the last 6 and ended up at 3:27:12. (Sorry, I actually did bore you with the details.) The course itself was great, and the people of Naperville (Napervillains?) deserve a lot of the credit for supporting something that disrupted their Sunday morning for 6 hours. For a small race, there was great fan turnout, a beautiful course, and ample water stations throughout. If you are insane enough to run a marathon, you could do worse than this one. Bonus: Because there were so few people in the race, I came in 85th place. That’s the top 10 percent, about where I usually finish in a marathon, but much more impressive than telling someone that I finished 3,500th in the Chicago Marathon: “Not to brag or anything, but I was in the top 100. And what have you accomplished with your life?”

Weather Underground

The Naperville Marathon. Correction, the “Healthy Driven” Naperville Marathon. I don’t know if the phrase “healthy driven” follows any rules of grammar. But it sounds cool.

Movies, Oscars

My Oscar Acceptance Speech

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Wow. I’m as stunned as all of you are to have heard my name called tonight. I did not expect to win this Oscar, especially since, until a few months ago, I wasn’t even aware that a person could be nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay for a movie based on a blog post. But I’ll take it.

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“You like me! You really like me!”

I guess I should take a moment to thank my business partner, mostly because of the lawsuit: part of the agreement was I mention him in any potential acceptance speech. So, this one goes out to my former friend and mentor, or as I like to call him, “Plaintiff.” I’d also like to give a special shout-out to the little people, and by “little people,” I mean anyone 5 feet 3 inches or shorter; thank you for making me feel tall.

In all seriousness, a lot of hard work went into the making of this film. I am humbled to have worked with such a great director and cast and crew and production team; I’d like to give most of the credit to them for bringing my words to life. I’d like to, but I can’t because, let’s be honest, without my script, this movie would have been nothing. Hence, me standing here holding this statuette and them all sitting at home cheering me on. So, thanks for your minor contributions.

I have to believe that my late mom is looking down on me and smiling. She was such a big part of my success; I can still hear her speaking the words that motivated me to get to where I am today: “Sweetie, don’t listen to what your teachers and the social worker and the school administrators say: You can be anything you want when you grow up. As long as it doesn’t involve being tall, or particularly good-looking, or especially intelligent, or having the ability to work with your hands, or playing well with others.” I knew then and there that I was going to be a writer!

I know, too, that my dad is looking down on me. He’s not dead; he just disapproves of my life choices. Dad, this one’s for you; you warned me that when I went to Hollywood, it would be filled with a bunch of whiny, narcissistic, ego-inflated, body-obsessed liberal wackos who spent their days puffing each other up in useless meetings and their nights at drug-fueled orgies in the Hollywood Hills. Well, Dad, you were right: it was everything you promised and more! Thanks for cutting me off financially; that really forced me to find my way in the world (and, unanticipated bonus, to find cheaper pot suppliers).

One of the greatest pieces of advice I got when I first starting working on screenplays came from two previous Oscar winners, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They told me, “Write what you know.” I’m paraphrasing from their legal filing; it was more along the lines of, “Whereas we find Mr. Dudley’s screenplay to have undeniable similarities to our own work,” etcetera. Boy, did I learn the hard way to write what I know. I suppose in hindsight I shouldn’t have named my first attempt at a screenplay “Good Will Hunting 2.” But that’s all been settled in the courts, and now I hold no grudges against Ben and Matt, who are both in the audience tonight. However, I would like to kindly suggest that they drop the order of protection requiring me to stay 50 feet away from each of them at all times; that’s why my seats were in the balcony and I had to find an alternative access to the stage from the backstage area when my name was called. (I’m also trying to figure a way to triangulate our paths through the Vanity Fair Oscar party, but I’ll cross that red carpet-covered bridge when I get there.)

Did I thank my agent yet? No? I owe a lot to her. (Twenty-five percent, actually; she told me that was the standard rate.) She had all the connections and taught me which parties to attend, which studio heads to schmooze, and, most importantly, which producers to sleep with. (As an aside to my wife: Just kidding, honey! And as an aside to certain producers: Not really; those two and/or three nights we spent together were some of the most memorable drug-fueled times of my life!)

I see that someone in back is giving me the “wrap it up” signal. Either that or they’re telling me that they are going to slit my throat when I step off the stage. Wait, is that Affleck? Aw, Ben, you’re a card! Always joking! Anyway, I would be a heel and a cad if I didn’t mention my lovely wife Jen. Jen, my darling, this is all possible because of you, in so many ways. First of all, the movie is named “My Lovely Wife Jen,” so there are some obvious real-life comparisons. I was particularly pleased when the casting director got Jennifer Lawrence and Jennifer Aniston to play you in different stages of your life, although I didn’t realize how powerful a player Aniston was until I found out she was playing the young “you” and Lawrence was forced to play the mature “you.” Also, Jen (my Jen, not the other Jens), thanks for always supporting me when things looked bleak. I’m talking about the financial support, because there were times when your emotional support was frankly a little lacking. I mean, how many times can a guy be criticized for not having a real, actual job and not getting changed out of his sweatpants all day (and, in one particularly low stretch, not doing anything but watching Seasons 1 through 4 of “thirtysomething” on repeat for 6 months straight while eating pork and beans on the couch) before it starts to affect his self-confidence? But we worked through all that, and I just want to say that everything I earn from this movie goes to you. That is, everything after paying my lawyers and Affleck and Damon and my former business partner and my agent. Everything after that, I mean.